Tolerance vs. Acceptance

Today's church word of the day: Tolerance*!
A story:
In my younger years, I was not a part of the church as my parents would have liked me to be. (As I've mentioned in previous posts, I have fucking amazing folks, but at this time we just did not see eye to eye.) As a result of my transgressions, I was pretty much ostracized from my home church. This did not really upset me all that badly. The events that really turned my stomach (and my heart) were the actions of my so called "christian" friends at the time. Because of my "backsliding from the Lord," these friends separated themselves from me. These were people that I had trusted with everything and anything, and when I started to struggle, the first and foremost thing on their mind was getting the fuck away from me so that I didn't affect their faith. The sad thing about this is that if these guys would have been true "Christians," my actions wouldn't have affected what they thought of me. I was tolerated in small doses, but never accepted. Nothing has affected me so greatly than this abandonment in my time of need, and it is of this that I have developed a disdain for Christian culture and its intolerance and non-acceptance.
Is this what being a Christian is all about? Sifting through the people that you can accept, based on whether or not they are "moral" enough? The mission of Jesus was focused on one thing: accepting and loving everyone. This doesn't mean that people who drink or smoke or do drugs are excluded. Christ loved these people just as much as the "righteous" Pharisee's! He loved them because of their genuine hearts, and acceptance; whereas the Pharisee's were reprimanded for their self-righteousness, blinded by their own good deeds. Unable to see, or accept, the grace that was being given to them in spite of their deeds.
Take, for example, the parable of the lepers. I'm paraphrasing here, but these guys were the absolute lowest of the low, and in a worse position than any of us could ever imagine. Jesus Christ went to these people out of love. And it was their honesty, openness and genuine faith that set them free. If I could only be so lucky to be a leper...unclean, and accepted.

- EP

(As an endnote, the afforementioned friends and I did eventually patch things up, but only after I "cleaned up my ways.")

*We here at church do NOT accept intolerance.

Jesus who?

So as you can see, my posting habits will be sporadic at best. Due to a ridiculous school and research schedule free time is a privilege to which I am no longer entitled. Anyhow, Ansku posted a comment shortly after my last post (which was much overdo), and it got me thinking. Who the hell is this Jesus character anyhow? There are many views of the man. Some people think he is some fluffy faggy loving clappy fool who is too busy being giddy in heaven to realize that the world is full of dipshits like myself. Others think he is militant and condemning people to hell for eternity. Some think of him as very distant and detached, not involved in the world today. So, what do you think? I'm interested in seeing what people think about this man, and what he means to them. Do you think he is still physically kickin' in heaven, or dead? Whatever your thoughts, share them. Try not to read other posts till you write yours too, so as to not be tainted or influenced. This'll be fun! Be sure to check back often to see how others have responded to the question, or to your own comment. And I promise not to make fun of any comments. Cross my heart!
heh
-cold45

one mildly bitter concession

In regards to wrestling with the validity, or reality of faith, there is much left to question. I have a tendency to be overly cynical and regard much of what occurs within churches as false, or "not truly an act of God." People seem so fake and so caught up in an image of what they feel God should be (as a humanist manifestation), or how a follower of God should be. I see a lot of emotion with no solid ground being attributed to God touching people. Hypocrisy reigns high in a Godly worship team, and dishonesty rules in the hand raising. These people can be seen as simply running with a pack and attempting with futility to rise above their peers with greater "holiness" or being "more in touch with God" than others. This is no different than the rest of the world, regardless of where one looks. Whether it is the business world in which people want to be the most ambitious or the most frugal, the most intelligent or the most fundamental, it's all the same. People try to be the most self-less and the most self-serving. The church is heap of people trying to be something greater than they are inside, and attributing this to a greater power and transposing this upon those who are not part of their inner circle, assuming that those outside should, for their own good, eat the truth they embody. It's a sick circle of falsity and judgement.
Yet here I am on the outside looking in at all these happy clappy Christian do-gooders loving life more than anything I could ever fathom. They juice a richness out of life which can be envious to even the most self-indulgent existentialist. Upon this ground I justify happy clappy naiveté as a necessary evil. Recently I have been able to look upon this institution as a mechanism for inner peace. Regardless of the worldview these people force upon those around them, as people they seem truly happy. Now who am I to question their inner peace? Even if the truth they follow is at best a placebo, I'd like to affirm this placebo. If this sugar pill is able to dull the emptiness of the world, the desolate depression which suffocates even the most outgoing with its thick silence, then I'm intrigued. Now perhaps this is simply a confession in a moment of weakness, but at least these people are on to something, and being a cynic I must concede this one item: the peace and happiness they encounter is beautiful.
So maybe God isn't a crappy worship song. Maybe God isn't some chump speaking gibberish (a.k.a. "glossolalia"). Maybe God isn't some dick-wad pastor trying to sucker money out of the masses by running church like a corporation for their measly 10%. Maybe God isn't youth groups and small groups. But if God is a part of an inwardly happy and peace-filled group of people, then God has a nice easy feeling that goes down like a cold beer on a hot day. Transcending the garbage which accompanies any given group of people, God reigns pure. It all depends on how we look at the situation. The people are all dicks. I'm an asshole. And church is a pussy (reference Team America). If one is constantly looking at the people, they will always be let down. That is my problem. I look at the church and see people I want nothing to do with. But looking at the overarching theme above all these losers (myself included), one can see God. The people below are all fallible and seeking desperately to understand Him, and they must be congratulated at least for their effort.
Basically these thoughts translate to wondering if we can validate some facet of the Christian church as fulfilling some inner purpose for its followers: peace an happiness. Who are we to take that away from them? In envy them, for fuck sakes. I wish I could be happy like them. Unfortunately my logic prevents me from accepting that which is forced down its followers throats with a tablespoon of sweet nonsensical reason.
At any rate, may your God bless you, Christians, for being so god damn fucking happy. I wish I could swallow your shit. Unfortunately your pungent human odour has tainted what you try to sell me and it makes me ill.

Anyhow, I'll see you all in hell.

bitterly envious,

cold (@ heart)

Much More Personal

To me, God is dead. Wait, back that up for a second. God isn't dead, but I gotta say, he's definitely not doing much in this world. Not from MY perspective at least.
I've been in this world for over 22 years now. Grown up in a solid christian home with 2 of the most awesome parents any person could ever ask for. I became a "christian" when I was very young - under the age of 5, in fact. However, not once in my 18 years of christianity have I felt the presence of God. That's right; not even during hardcore, hands-in-the-air, flag-waving, powerful-acoustic-guitar-driven-british-led-bands, style of worship that North Americans have adopted as their own. Sure, I've had encounters - most of them faked, mainly because I wasn't getting what I REALLY wanted from God. I've been the broken down teenager at a weekend youth conference. I've cried with my youth group. You know why? Because I thought that's what it meant to be a good christian. You have powerful experiences, and you get "moved" to the point of uncontrollable emotions.
Reflecting on the type of person that I was pretending to be, I realize that I hate that person. The "faker." Someone who pretends to be close to God when they're not. I don't hate that person because of what they're doing, I hate them because of what they're denying. They're denying the fact that it's okay to not have an emotional experience with God at every youth conference, or church worship service, or even fucking chapel for that matter.
I don't want to refute the power that God can have in people's lives, because there have to be some people out there who are really authentic with their worship, and have encountered God in some pretty fucking awesome ways. But at the same time, I can't help but be skeptical of pretty much EVERY story that I ever hear, simply because of my own experience with "emotional outpourings."
To round this up - I stand firm in my opinion that I've never heard/been influenced by God in an emotional/experiential way. It's a pretty shitty place to be, and yet I take solace in the fact that I am not alone. Is christianity for me? If I were to visit pretty much any North American evangelical church this sunday, I would probably say "no." First impressions are generally pretty acurate - and my first impression of most churches is quite unbelievable...really.

A note...

I just wanted to commend all of you who have left comments on our posts. We here at The OTH definitely appreciate your opinions and thoughts on our rants. I also wanted to say be patient with us with our responses to your comments. We are obviously not on this site all day, so we don't know when comments are made. To keep this brief; keep up the good work! Just don't get discouraged when we don't respond right away.

EP out.

Jesus Is Fucking Metal

For all intensive purposes, this is much like an appendage to Cold's prior post, just with a little bit of a different spin - that, being mine.

I GUARAN-FUCKING-TEE you, that Jesus would hate modern Christians. What are we? (For the purpose of this post, I am writing it in the colloquial "we" because I, personally do not want to be associated with anything that you're about to read here.) We are whining, snivelous little weasels. We talk behind other peoples backs, and (oftentimes) purposely cause conflict within our own friends/circles. We are self-righteous, pretentious, greedy, lustful, and speak as untruthfully as any non-christian in the modern world. We are weak, and unable to defend ourselves and what we "believe" in. Easily intimidated and exasperatingly annoying, today's common christian deserves to be punched squarely in the crotch.
I'm sick and tired of the association that comes along with being a christian. From the Benny Hinn's, to your 2005 TWU student - christians are not seen as the revolutionaries that we once were. We're nothing but annoyances to our generation; people to be tolerated - much like the handicapped kid in the movie theater who won't shut the fuck up during "Wedding Crashers". Much like my title suggests, Jesus was fucking metal. He would have been the guy in the bar, hangin' with the alcoholics and chatting it up with friends over some beers. Playing darts and making fun of the chotchy guys on the other side of the room. Head-banging along to some shit-hot thrash, throwing up the horns. Smoking, drinking, swearing, fucking? Who gives a fuck? Is it going to change your eternal soul? Hell no it's not! It's about living the life that you've been given - to the fullest. HOW you do so is up to you. Much like Cold alluded to in the previous post, judging someone is not up to us.
So, you and I both know that this is all based on my opinion, but my opinion is based on experience. Therefore, prove me wrong. However, don't do it with your fucking words in the "comments" section...prove me wrong to my face. You want to change my mind about christians and the way they act/are? BE that person. In fact, to use some christian lingo, this is your "challenge for the week." Be nice to someone who needs it. Give some money to that homeless person instead of ignoring him. DON'T look at me funny when I smoke, swear, or crack a beer. You got a problem with me? Come to ME before you spread that shit all over. After that, you can say whatever the fuck you want.

judge this...

The Christian church has some kind of unhealthy preoccupation with judgement. This proves to be a very touchy matter for many, and ends up driving countless people away from the church in disgust. If the Christian church is a place of love and acceptance, how come so many people don't feel accepted? I was having a discussion with another unnamed pastor the other day, who decided that every person in a leadership position in that church who had a problem with looking at pornography must step down. This raised multiple alarms in my head. First of all, why make someone else's problem public? His response was that it wasn't public, but how can it not be? Everyone in the church will notice when billybob-goatee-wearing-constant-midlife-crisis youth pastor is suddenly gone along with various elders, music leaders, etc. With such sick gossip in a church, I'd give it two to three weeks before every cursed judging gossiping person in the church knows. So what's worse here? Buddy rubbin a few out to porno, or the whole church writhing in disgust, judgement, criticism and gossip? I'd go with the latter. Secondly, nobody has the right to inflict any judgement on anyone else in the world, as we are all equally as fucked up, whether it is outwardly noticeable (eg. long-term heroin addiction) or secretive (eg. lusting after that tighty new office broad in the church). Either way, who can throw the first stone? Nobody but God. So if this is to follow the doctrine of how I interpret the gospel message, people must simply love the shit outta everyone and leave judgement up to God. Who wants to be Christian if all it entails are potluck lunches, false love, crappy music and deep-rooted issues nobody wants to look at? Not me. I'd go with my own brand of Christianity, if I had to choose. First and foremost, love everyone (even the cracked out dude heckling me for cash, the rich, the poor, the judging, the accepting, and even the ignorant offensive cursed Christians who give the faith a bad name). Leave the judging for God. Don't slam people over the head with memorized bible verses (as if it will make them envy you... have you done your daily memory verse yet? cuz if you havent then I may be a more spiritual person than you), but rather love them in whatever way you can, whether it's a smile, holding a door, a hug, money, authenticity or your time. Past that I haven't really thought enough about my own brand of Christianity, but that's a great start. Not only is it a great start, it's a great place to end this post.

wondering

COLD 45

p.s. no really. did you do your memory verse? did you? huh? did you write in your journal this morning after your bible study? you DIDNT? oh gosh well let me pray for your soul.
fuck that lets go grab some beers and enjoy life, make some people happy, play some pool, and love each other the way the big J dawg woulda, alcohol style. now THAT's real.

WarRant

I'm sick of the bullshit. I'm sick of being told that I'm not a good christian because I drink, or smoke, or swear, or do any of the other things that I do that are frowned upon by the trinity administration.
I remember my first year as a student there and the awkward "have to quit smoking NOW" phase that I went through when I first got there. Imagine that. A full-time smoker being asked to quit cold turkey...on his first week at a post-secondary institution...meeting some of the biggest fake, dumb-fucks this country (and our neighbors to the south), could possibly produce, while at the same time trying to form new friendships with people that actually matter. Just the quitting smoking is bad enough! Throw a bunch of whiney bitch, do-gooders into the mix, and you have a formula for me wanting to go on a rampage...with a nail gun...and some dynamite.
Even so, I somehow managed to make it through camp trinity, making some solid friends during that time (who were NOT sucked into the faith-as-life philosophy), whilst sometimes having fun. My roomate at the time (who will remain nameless) and I were into taking walks and talking philosophy. More importantly, we smoked cigars down by the tracks. This continued until I started smoking straight-up cigarettes again, at which time we would plow on into the night to get that sweet nicotine taste.
It was probably about a month or so after christmas when we were ratted out by a fellow student. (The confrontation-with-peers argument will be addressed at a later date...but not now.) We were approached by our RD and were given an ultimatum; don't smoke, or take the class about smoking. Yeah...I'll bet you can figure out which option we chose.
The altercation that took place between me and the RD didn't make me feel like he cared for me at all. He didn't even know my name at the time...nor did I know his. If anything, after my talk i felt like smoking even MORE, because these bastards didn't really give a SHIT. They were more taking action on a complaint, as opposed to taking action out of love for me, or my roommate.
It is this type of pretentious bull-shit that makes me extremely frustrated with the administration at our school. Lots of rules and lots of guidelines, but no care or emotion put into applying these rules. Hmm...trinity is starting to sound a LOT like a church...

An Elusive Concept...

Thought. The OTH is dedicated to advancing the thought process in people's daily "spiritual" lives. As you have already read the introduction to our posts, you are well aware of our stance. Freedom of thought, choice and expression. Most of our (my) opinions are as a result of prior grievances with the established christian church and its followers. This is specifically an output of our emotional, spiritual and religious frustrations.
The posts on this site will not always be this squeaky clean. We will swear. We will use the words "fuck" and "shit" freely, even throwing a "goddamn" in just for kicks every now and again.
However, this makes us no more, or less righteous than our readers. It is simply the way we choose to express ourselves.
Organized religion has been our opressor for far too long. This is our stance, our voice in the world...for we have found the light amidst the dark.

I'm Open, but the voice died

I was listening to the Pearl Jam song "I'm Open" the other day, and was deeply moved by its lyrics. Following the experience I engaged in a discussion about religion (or current lack thereof), as depicted by this song, with a good friend. It went a little like this:
-such an incredible song
-its like my cry so often... i'm open god, where the heck are you? i'm ready to know you, feel you, believe in you.
-...
-nope, nothing.
-feel so all alone, so let down, so deceived, so sad for everyone else yet so jealous that they can have faith and feel solid
-I want nothing more than what they have- solidarity and confidence
-yet naïveté
-its a painful dichotomy
-tears me up inside
-my parents cry, wanting me to "share in their joy"... i want to support them in their spirituality, to join them in it but i can't. it's like a huge rift, in the most important aspect of their lives
-it makes me so fucking, so fucking angry
-who the fuck is this god, this character, this figment
-this crutch, this feeling, this idea which has the entire world, myself included, so captivated... be it positively or negatively, it affects everyone dramatically
-but i want to be part of the positive side. yet my rational thinking cannot let myself plunge blindly into ignorance of the blatent truth...
-the truth of vacancy
-of isolation
-of...
-death, i suppose
-this is it... nothing more. we have no third person to which we can attribute all good and bad, and through which we can make sense of the world.
-without that there, without that third person acting in thoughts, everything seems to much colder
-depression sinks in like lead in water, and my gut curls with the pain of vacancy.
-this fucking sucks. when the fuck can this be resolved?
-god dammit i hope its sooner than later, and i hope all these ignorant christians would stop making me feel so depressed and fucked up for not believing what they have been deceived to believe, and taught not to think about.
-whatever. i'll just try to love them for who they are, not for the ignorance they impose on the world. they are just doing what they have been taught to do all their lives in church.
-god dammit

Jesus died 2005 years ago

Was Jesus the Son of God? Was he sent from heaven to perform devine deeds, and fulfill a long-anticipated prophecy of the Jewish Messiah? This is possible, I suppose. Slightly fairy-tale, but plausible nonetheless. What if he just plain died? It seems far more likely that he did just plain die, and is dead, and forever will be dead. Yet at the same time he is fully alive and well and active, in that people still read his teaching and look to the idea of Jesus for guidance and comfort. So in that respect, yes, Jesus is still very much alive. Did Jesus just die to prove a point? He spoke about love and rewriting the laws of the old. He spoke about not adhering so ademently to “the law” but seeing the bigger picture of love, both of the father and of others. “this is your commandment: to love the father with all your heart and to love your neighbour as yourself.” Was he truly the son of God and his death reached beyond the physical, redeeming us eternally? Or was his death simply him proving to the world the truth which he embodied? I believe that what he was preaching is true and right and good regarding how we, as a people, must live. But was he truly the physical embodiment of the son of god? That is up for debate. After all, I believe he wasn't born of a virgin, but the new testament claims that he was. If historical documentation on Jesus not being born of a virgin is accurate, then immediately the inerrancy of his ministry is uprooted, or at least the documentation of his ministry (it's not like we have Jesus' journal). So if Jesus was just a human, born of a woman in the illegitimate relationship of a Roman Soldier, then he died equally as human. End of story. Introduction of depression upon the understanding that there truly wasn't a happy man who died a horrible death and then ascended into heaven, and when we simply recognize this fact we are immediately signed sealed and secured for a life in eternal bliss, but if we don't recognize this guy then we are destined for a life in a burning lake of fire. Scare tactics are a bitch eh...
Enough of this rant.

The Order of Trinity Heretics

There are many people in this world who choose not to think. They willingly decide to not challenge that which has been spoon-fed to them their entire lives. They sit in a slough of complacency and ignorance, not truly understanding what goes on around them.
Recently some serious discussion has occurred between certain individuals who have chosen to lift their heads out of the fog of ignorance which so enslaves those stuck in organized religion. Three of these individuals grudgingly attend a specific post-secondary institution known as Trinity Western University, and thus have deemed themselves The Order of Trinity Heretics. These individuals, alongside others who have chosen the same path of challenge and enlightenment, set out to truly understand the nature of spirituality, attack the lack of thought inherent in the Christian church, and provide an environment wherein anybody can come to question, debate, and challenge anything. The Order of Trinity Heretics does not claim to be smarter or more enlightened than any other person, regardless of their religious conviction or affiliation. The idea is simply to encourage those seeking truth to really question that which they believe, in the hopes that they may claim their beliefs for themselves. Anyone may feel free to respond, comment, debate, yell, swear, disagree with someone, or anything (provided this is done in a respectful manner).
All the best on your search!

-The Order of Trinity Heretics